Nicknames
by tresmaraudeur
Summary: Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs- the nicknames were utter nonsense, Lily had always thought, but nonetheless, the mystery of their meanings ate away at her until she finally burst, "What's the deal with the nicknames?" and her nemesis gave her the entirely fabricated story of how the Marauders got their nicknames. Oneshot.


This is the result procrastination paired with my wondering about what exactly the Marauders told people when they asked about their nicknames. I imagine this taking place sometime during their sixth year when James began to grow up a bit. Hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

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Lily had somehow gotten herself roped into studying charms with Remus and Potter. Remus, she didn't mind, though she was less than happy with him when she discovered that he had invited _Potter_ along and she was even less happy with him when she found out that he would have to leave early. The three of them met in the common room so they could talk without being shushed and glared at by Madam Pince and, to Lily's surprise, they accomplished a lot together. Potter, to Lily's shock, was not even the least bit disrespectful and she might even go as far as to say that he was helpful- though she would die before she admitted it to his face.

Remus snapped his book shut after they had studied for an hour and a half, "I need to go meet Peter in the library to help him with his Transfiguration essay." Lily shot him an annoyed look and Remus looked away guiltily. Lily half wondered if this was some sort of ploy that Potter had concocted to get her alone.

"Alright," James replied without looking up from his book. "Later, Moony." _Moony_ , the nickname caught Lily's attention. She had always been curious about the nicknames, but she had never asked. She didn't want it to seem like she cared about them or the trouble the four of them caused, but the mystery ate away at her even now.

As Remus walked off, James could feel Lily's eyes boring into him. He looked up and met her gaze, "Like what you see, Evans?" She scoffed and rolled her eyes, clearly disgusted, then looked back to her own book, thinking that she should have made an excuse to leave when Remus did.

James cursed himself and his stupidity. He had an opportunity to actually _talk_ to her like a normal, civilized human being and he had blown it. Being around her just made him so nervous and when he got nervous, he got cocky and Lily hated him when he got cocky and since she _always_ made him nervous, he was _always_ cocky around her. He took a slow, steady breath, remembering Moony's advice to act normal around her, the way he would act with anyone else, then said, "Sorry, that was a bad joke." She glanced back up, surprised by the apology and his apparent newfound maturity. Apologizing was a good move, he congratulated himself internally. "Were you going to say something?"

She chewed on her lip, weighing her options. The question had tormented her for years and her desire to know the answer outweighed her unwillingness to speak to Potter. "What's the deal with the nicknames?" she asked, the question burst out of her before she could stop herself or reconsider it.

The nicknames were utter nonsense and their nonsensical nature had bothered her since the Marauders started using them at the end of their fourth year. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs, the names didn't make sense to anyone else and no one that Lily had asked knew why or how they had gotten these ridiculous nicknames in the first place.

James smirked that all-knowing smirk of his that made Lily want to give up and tell him to never mind, but she wanted answers so she remained silent as he started speaking. "All of our nicknames all have to do with pranking," he explained. Lily rolled her eyes because _of course_ it was something immature like that. James elaborated, "The Marauders came from something Filch said years ago, when we were second or third years, I think." Lily recalled that they had gone around calling themselves that long before they started using their individual nicknames. "He went on some tirade and told us that he wouldn't put up with us _marauding_ about, acting like we owned the castle and causing trouble. I think when he said the word _marauding_ , Sirius and I shared a look and that became our collective nickname from thereon out. The Marauders were born."

The meaning behind the Marauders hadn't been difficult for Lily to figure out on her own, with the amount of mischief those boys caused, but that wasn't what she really wanted to know about. "What about your individual nicknames? Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs."

His smirk grew wider, if possible. "Those come from pranking too. Like mine, I'm really fast, like a stag so if we're close to getting caught I lead the professor, prefect or Filch on a chase and I _always_ lose them."

Stags had antlers, so Prongs made sense, and he _was_ fast. Anyone who had seen him on a broom knew that. "Are you sure it isn't because you strut around like a giant antlered stag?" she asked, returning his smirk.

"I do not _strut_!" he mocked offense and Lily rolled her eyes, good-naturedly this time. The only way James Potter knew how to walk was by strutting.

"What about the others?" she pressed.

"Well, Sirius is Padfoot because he's really light on his feet." She gave him a disbelieving look, Sirius, loud and obnoxious Sirius, was anything but quiet. "I'm not kidding!" Potter insisted. "If he doesn't say something or clear his throat when he's coming up behind you, he'll scare the magic out of you, I swear. It happens to me _at least_ daily." She would have to take his word for it; she kept her encounters with Sirius Black to a minimum. He was nearly as bad a James, but at least he never stalked her or asked her out. "Anyways, his parents made him take ballroom dancing classes for years when he was a kid- they're very old-fashioned purebloods- so I guess that's where it came from. He's always good at sneaking around because he's so quiet."

Padfoot, like padded feet, "Like a cat?"

James grinned and his eyes shone with amusement, as though she had told a joke that only he understood. "Something like that." She nodded in understanding. "Then, Peter is Wormtail because he can get himself out of any situation." She raised an eyebrow. "I know, I know, you wouldn't think it but he's good in tight spots, have you noticed he's in detention way less than the rest of us? We always put him in charge of escape plans and coming up with our stories. Like if McGonagall caught us in the Great Hall at three in the morning, Peter would be in charge of getting us out of trouble." Though it didn't seem like he was even that good at doing that- those boys were always in and out of detention, but perhaps Peter kept himself safe by disassociating himself from their riskier pranks. "He can almost _smell_ danger coming and scurry off to safety."

Lily pursed her lips momentarily, if danger was near, rats were always the first to flee. "Like a rat?" Wormtail, that was actually pretty clever, Lily thought, but so were the other names. Remus must have come up with them.

"Exactly!" he beamed.

"Potter, that is terrible!" though she couldn't help but smile, there was something about Peter's mannerisms and his appearance that _was_ very rat-like. "Nicknaming someone- a friend- after a rat, that is really awful."

James shrugged, "He doesn't mind it." He was probably just glad to be in the club.

They were both silent for a beat, until Lily said, "You forgot Remus."

"Oh, right!" James grinned broadly. "You see, Remus is the only one whose nickname doesn't have to do with pranking."

"Why not?" she cocked an eyebrow.

"He's the mastermind behind it all. Sirius and I come up with the ideas and Remus meticulously works out the details. I mean, we could call him King Remus or something but his ego is already _so big_ ," James was being sarcastic but Lily scoffed anyways, not even needing to voice her opinion on _that_. "And we didn't really want his ego getting any bigger."

"So, where did Moony come from, then?" she asked.

"Well, see, Remus is Moony because one time we were at the Hog's Head, just having a good time, and hanging out. And you know how Remus is, he's very controlled and refined most of the time, but what most people don't know is that he is a terrible, hopeless drunk. So, that night, he started drinking firewhiskey on the rocks and he became very inebriated very quickly, as you can imagine. And I don't really remember exactly how it happened but all of a sudden, Remus got up on the table, unbuttoned his trousers and-"

"Stop!" Lily grimaced and tried to keep a straight face, but the mental image of Remus drunkenly jumping up on a table at the Hog's Head and unbuttoning his trousers got to her. The laugh rolled out of her, it was genuine, warm and contagious and James found himself laughing too.

"So, Remus is up on the table and-"

"No, no! Stop, please, stop!" Lily insisted through her unrelenting laughter. "I have too much respect for Remus to hear the rest of that story."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

James only shrugged, said, "your loss," and he smirked that smirk of his that was now somehow much less intolerable to Lily.

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I hope you enjoyed, let me know what you think!


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